May Home Practice and Links
Imperfection, acknowledging needs and re-sharpening our edges
Allowing my imperfection to be part of the conversation is a theme right now. This post is late. The Beltane podcast is late. Am I stressed? A little, and also I know that people will show me grace. As they have been, as I would for someone else.
I shared on instagram on Saturday how I’ve been allowing my needs as a facilitator, and as someone with chronic health conditions and caring responsibilities, to show up and be part of the spaces I hold.
Those who have been coming to my events will know that this is a value that is integral to how I hold spaces for others. I even have in our group guidelines that we need to prioritise ‘Self Care and Autonomy’ - I’ll share what I have written for the group guidelines here:
Self Care & Autonomy -
everything is invitational and all forms of engagement are welcome. We are the experts in what we each need and will engage (or not engage) according to what feels good for us.
My health, broken sleep and life things recently has meant that I have been showing up with some fuzziness. With some mixed childcare arrangements. Showing up with my full humanness.
And you know what? It was FINE. More than fine, they’ve been wonderful sessions. And I don’t mean to claim credit for this - I never claim credit for how a group session has gone, as it’s a space we all hold together. However, what was clear was that the presence of my needs was NOT a problem.
No one complained. No one had to leave. I was actually leading by example, and the grace of the group and the space meant that I could further challenge ideas of what ‘professionalism’ looks like.
Of course I have wobbles around this. Mainstream ideas of what’s professional and what is acceptable (rooted in ableism, white supremacy and capitalistic bullshit) are deeply ingrained. But each little bit we can challenge allows a little more light in. A little bit freer and a little bit more ourselves.
So my invitation for us all this month, is to be curious about where we might be able to give ourselves permission for our needs to be acknowledged. Are there any spaces or ways in which we aren’t feeling able to recognise the needs, whether its a need to show up differently, to postpone, to not show up, to change the parameters of what showing up means.
And I know this can be incredibly hard. It’s not something we should have to do alone. So I want us to create a space where we can offer each other encouragement and support to experiment with this.
So please do come over to the chat where I’ll start a thread for us to share any thoughts around places where you could be more comfortable if you let go of certain ‘shoulds’, where you might be able to feel more yourself, or bring a question you’d like the groups support with.
Someone shared in our most recent event a wonderful idea about how we can be raised to blunt off some of our sharp edges to make ourselves more palatable - and this inspiring them to explore where they might be able to sharpen their edges again. This has been sitting in my heart ever since and is something I’d love to explore together.
Community Session (Mindfulness session) - Saturday 10th May, 11am - 12pm UK time